You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
