i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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