He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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