Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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