That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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