So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It was like getting head from an anaconda
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
