4 words: hood of his car
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I need a beard to bite.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My feet surprised me
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