Pappa wants mamma naked
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
