i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
