You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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