her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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