wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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