What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
