Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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