Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I cockslap morals
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
