some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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