I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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