its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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