C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
