I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
