hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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