he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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