I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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