I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
