Is it normal to miss your booty call?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
