dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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