Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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