I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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