i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
