I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
