He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
