nut hugger
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
