You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
3pm strippers are depressing
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I need to sanitize my soul.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
