So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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