well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
