Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
