the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
