I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize