i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
