Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Your penis caused this!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
