New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
