It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i believe in u and ur pee
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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