okay pat passed out under dana's car
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You pole danced in your parka.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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