Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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