how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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