Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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