you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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