trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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