The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
