My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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