please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
