People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
