i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think I sprained my soul last night
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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