Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
