she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
